Gift-giving is something not easily learned. The pressure to give the best present accumulates through time and it gets heavier depending on how much you value the receiver.
As a husband, the pressure is worse especially if your wife gets you everything you want and need. And in most cases, they do.
Make history by giving the best gift a wife has ever gotten with the help of this five-minute guide for husbands. Surprise your lady and make her fall in love all over again by following these six simple tips:
PUT SOME THOUGHT INTO IT, BUT NOT TOO MUCH
Contrary to popular belief, one of the many reasons why men fail at giving gifts is not their lack of care but actually too much of it. By thinking too much for too long, things get overcomplicated. With overthinking every step of the way, planning gets tiring. Know that it is understandable if you are unsure of what to get your wife. You don’t have to do it alone. Most of the time, the right people to help you are just there waiting for you to ask them.
- Do your research. Before buying a new gadget, you’d have to check for the specs. You’d go online for hours just to be sure. When you decide to buy a new power tool, you’d ask your friends’ opinions and experiences first. It’s the same with buying your partner a gift.
Take her window-shopping months before judgment day and check what catches her eye. Do some detective work and tell her stories about the gifts your mates gave their wives. Check how she responds and ask her opinion. When it comes to giving gifts, the best person you can ask is the receiver herself.
- Recruit her friends as accomplices. No one is more hell-bent than a bestie planning the perfect surprise. Getting the opinion from someone very important to her life but not a part of your marriage could provide a fresh set of eyes. Just be ready to see those eyes rolling from time to time.
IT’S NOT ABOUT THE AMOUNT
Diamonds sure are beautiful. But sometimes, they’re really just expensive rocks. Any bozo can buy a necklace or a bag. Don’t misunderstand, there’s nothing wrong with spending for your wife. It’s actually highly recommended. But what would make your gift extra special is something that cannot really be just bought. Putting time and effort into creating something for her brings your gift to a whole new level.
- DIY it like a boss. Go with something personal, something that has a story, something that would make her feel your presence even though you’re out with friends.
Nothing says “I love you” more than 40 hours of woodwork and callouses. Sculpt something that best represents your love. Get some sewing patterns and tailor cute matching onesies for mommy and baby. Photograph her secretly for a year and make a scrapbook with love notes all over.
Do something she loves that she knows you’re not particularly interested in.
- Dazzle her with an event. You don’t have to settle for material things. Going down memory lane might do the trick. Recreate a magical night and take her back to her happiest memories. The most romantic night that you’ve shared before getting married would be wonderful for anniversaries. But for birthdays and other special occasions, you don’t really have to box yourself within just your relationship.
Consider the things that she misses the most. If she feels disconnected, restage her uni days and help her reconnect with her friends. If she misses her family, cooking up a plan with her parents or siblings could never do you wrong.
- Make her feel like royalty. Acts of Service are among the most underrated love languages. Work on that step she’s been asking you to fix for months now. Do the dishes without being asked. Clean the house while she’s outside for an errand. Better yet, do that errand for her. Make up for the countless times your pants and socks laid on the floor by doing the laundry without letting her know. Learning the recipe and cooking her favorite dish is also a good way to go. Basically, just serve her like you promised and go the extra mile.
LASTLY, MAKE IT ALL ABOUT HER.
- Give her a break.
Get her a spa day. Reserve a table at her favorite restaurant for dinner. Book a hotel suite for one and open a tab under your name. Plan everything and work out all the details. Assure her that the kids are okay and that you’d take care of them. She just needs to show up and worry about nothing else but herself. And the most important part to remember: let her experience these alone.
The best gift you could give her is a day free from stress and pressure. Don’t gawk on like a baby bird waiting for a compliment about your gift-giving skills. Don’t wait around and bother her every five minutes to check if she’s enjoying it.
One of the most common mistakes a man can make when giving a gift is including himself in it. This is not about you. It’s not about how good of a husband or a father you are. It’s not about your family or your marriage. Today, at least for today, she is not a wife. She is not a mother. She is not anyone or anything else. She’s just a woman of her own who deserves peace and time to relax. And that’s what you should give her.