Sons take after their fathers – this is a popular concept in the world of parenting. After all, fathers are expected to raise their sons as the better versions of themselves. Ideally, dads can easily build relationships with their kids but the father-son relationship can be complex. After all, fathers and sons have different interests and may find it difficult to relate to each other.
But as a boy grows up, he needs his father to influence him and his development until he can embrace his independence. Dads can teach their sons a lot about life: how to do basic home repairs, how to pick engineered hickory wood flooring for his future home, how to invest in long-term insurance plans and more.
Apart from these lessons, sons need more than nuggets of wisdom from their dads. They need you. And they need the following things from you.
He Needs You to Love and Respect Your Spouse
When you love your spouse, you are showing your son how to properly treat your wife. How you treat your wife will also cascade to his sisters and all the women he’ll meet later on. How you treat your spouse sets the foundation for the relationships he’ll have in the future.
If you are separated from his mother and the divorce ended on bad terms, refrain from saying bad things about them. This shows your son that you still respect your ex-spouse and that he should do the same to people he will disagree with in life.
He Needs Your Servant Leadership
Most sons see their dads as the boss at home. The “boss” image isn’t always good because it could mean that you are always commanding everyone at home.
Fathers are the leaders of the home. However, being the leader doesn’t always translate to bossing everyone around. As the old saying goes, the best leaders are the ones who know how to serve others. When your son sees you leading by serving, they will have a better understanding of what real leadership is like.
As a result, your son will learn how to lead. As he grows up, he will also learn how to better lead his family, lead at work and lead his community.
He Needs to See You Fail, Not Just Succeed
A father who looks “too perfect” can easily discourage a son who is always trying his best. Your son needs you to be a realistic standard, not a god he can’t reach.
Failure is always the best teacher. And the best type of failure is to learn from someone else’s. When you fail at something, don’t hide it from your son. Instead, let them see how you handle the stumble. This ensures him that it’s OK to make mistakes and that they can learn from their mistakes. A boy who is not afraid to fail will grow into a man who is positioned to accept defeat, learn from it and conquer great challenges.
He Needs You To Be Present
As you fulfill all of your roles, you might find yourself busy with a lot of things. While your son needs you to provide for him, he also wants you to be physically and emotionally present. He needs you to be there, especially during the most important moments of his life. Although some areas are intended for his mom or for their friends, there are areas in his life where he wants Dad to support him.
He Needs Your Affirmation
Many dads struggle with verbally affirming the son of their victories and good choices. But sons want to know that they’re doing well. And what better way than to affirm them with “I’m proud of you son,” “I love you son,” “You’re doing great” or “That was amazing?”
Like you, your son needs encouragement. He needs to hear affirmations from you.
He Needs You to Discipline Him In Love
No parent enjoys disciplining their child, but discipline is essential, especially if you want your kid to grow up well. Discipline involves setting expectations and boundaries. Your kid will make mistakes just like you, but he needs guidance. He should know that his actions have consequences. Disciplining him in love teaches him to consider how his actions will impact him or others.
He Needs You to Love Him Unconditionally
You and your son are two different people, despite being related. You might have dreams for your son that he may not want to achieve for himself. Even in something simple, like hobbies, you two may not relate. You could be a big fan of sports and he could be interested in Chinese streetwear fashion.
No matter the choices he makes, he needs you to love him, even if they are different from your choices. Even if he makes wrong choices, let him know that you love him, but he must reap the consequences of his choices.
Father and son relationships can be complex, but they can also be straightforward. Just remember to give your son what he needs and show him your love.