Being a parent is extremely hard. It takes time, energy and plenty of patience upon patience. Thankfully, with your diligent effort, you can become a great one. Not enough parents consider the work they do each and every day to be as good as it could be. However, if you’re present, supportive, encouraging, and willing to look past some of the awkward silliness of childhood, you can remain a great and wonderful parent, and take the beauty and challenges of life together in equal measure.
But especially for new parents, the idea of actually looking after a brand new human is daunting. It’s not hard to imagine why. We couldn’t personally imagine a harder task. Sorry rocket and nuclear scientists, but nothing compares to actually attempting to help a living, breathing sentient child to become a good person and learn to deal with life. That’s equal parts science and art.
If you’re struggling to put on your parental hat in some situations, there are absolutely tips you can take to fix this. For that, we would recommend:
Remember how conflict used to feel in childhood? It was difficult as you were learning to become a person, and learn where the boundaries lay. Thisi is where good parents know how to apply their hand, gently but firmly. If you’re acting out of place, being aggressive or trying to fight for a reaction from your parents, then quite swiftly you were likely put in your place. There are better or worse ways to do this. If your parents hit you, then it’s likely you remember how difficult that was, and might not do that to your own children. If you remember how it helped you realize the gravity of what you were doing, and the hit was a mild tap on the bottom, you might do that to your child. However, if you were in a house that used shouting, swearing and intimidation, then it’s likely you won’t ever want to bring that into your household.
Remember how conflict felt when you were a child, and how you might have wished it was handled back then. This can absolutely influence how you consider its role in your life, and give you a new lease of energy when it comes to helping your child learn their boundaries also.
Children always try to express themselves. Some can do it more than others. Some are less careful in how they do it. However, they all deserve the benefit of the doubt, and deserve to be listened to. It might have been very frustrating in your childhood to try to relay your feelings to your parents only for them to belittle that due to your age. It might be that your parents were very understanding and careful to encourage even if needing to put their foot down over a matter. This can be healthy, and should be applied in your household. Consider that children are smarter than they might seem or express themselves to be, and that giving them the space to use their words if in a highly emotive situation can raise someone to be a fantastic person as they develop.
Wish To Grow
All children wish to grow up faster than they should. They might want to drive a car, or your daughter might want to wear heels, or perhaps wear makeup at an age too early for comfort, or perhaps your son wants to go paintballing. Children often wish for adulthood only upon coming of age spending the rest of their lives wishing they could be a child for one day again. For this reason, preserving the beauty of childhood is absolutely essential through and through. It requires your ability to slowly dissuade your child from looking forward to that, and introducing them to things more their speed.
Help them grow through something. You might remember how you used to stay supported by your sporting interest, or martial arts hobby. Bring something constructive like that to your child, and they won’t have to feel like they need to have more authority by acting older. Sometimes, it can be through methods more appropriate to the practical reality of a child growing. As they start to interface with the internet and devices, using the best parental control app called Family Orbit can help you keep watch on the content they consume, and limit that which you don’t want them to see.
Children learn by osmosis. Consider how you used to find your interests. It was likely due to something you saw, someone you admired, or perhaps a peer group you enjoyed being around. Maybe your parent was very much into a certain hobby, and you carried that on. Consider how you might apply the same benefit to your child. It can truly nourish their minds.
With these tips, remembering your childhood is sure to culminate in raising healthy and happy children yourself.
This post is a collaborative effort by St. Louis Dad.