{"id":4082,"date":"2018-02-07T07:17:17","date_gmt":"2018-02-07T13:17:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/?p=4082"},"modified":"2018-02-07T13:24:26","modified_gmt":"2018-02-07T19:24:26","slug":"are-you-aiding-and-abetting-sibling-rivalry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/are-you-aiding-and-abetting-sibling-rivalry\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Aiding And Abetting Sibling Rivalry?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sibling rivalry<\/a>. Two words every parent with more than one child hates with passion. Nothing\u2019s worse than your kids not getting along. Didn\u2019t you spend months trying to clear the way for this new addition? Didn\u2019t you sit with your youngster and have them touch the baby bump? Didn\u2019t you assure them nothing would change?<\/p>\n

For the most part, steps like these work well while the new addition is unable to talk. But, as that baby grows, things can go downhill fast. Suddenly, the addition which wasn\u2019t meant to change anything, changes everything. Begin the continual bickering you were always trying to avoid.<\/p>\n

In some ways, arguments are inevitable sometimes. Even siblings who manage to be best friends are sure to fall out on occasion. But, if things reach boiling point, it may be time to consider the causes. And, though you may not think of it it, it\u2019s time to consider whether your actions aid these quarrels. Often, parents can cause such arguments without even realizing. Here\u2019s how.<\/p>\n

Accidental comparisons<\/b><\/p>\n

Every parent knows that comparing siblings is a mortal sin. Yet, many of us fall into this trap by accident. It\u2019s not unusual, for instance, to use one child\u2019s achievements as inspiration for the other. A simple, \u2018Hasn\u2019t (child A) done well\u2019 may seem harmless enough. But, Child B will then start to consider themselves lesser. If you\u2019re making a point of showing them Child A\u2019s achievements, you obviously aren\u2019t happy with what they\u2019re doing. Hence, they must be the letdown child. Hello, comparison. To avoid this, praise each child without bringing the other into the matter. Otherwise, it\u2019s near enough impossible to avoid some comparison situation.<\/p>\n

\"AlexMikey\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Separate activities<\/b><\/p>\n

Another way we inadvertently aid rivalry is to engage in separate activities with each child. You may have that one, particular thing you do with Child B. But, if you don\u2019t let Child A join in, resentment is sure to come into this. In a lot of cases, these child-specific activities have a lot to do with gender. You may feel comfortable playing softball with your son, but not think to invite your daughter. Another big mistake. Instead, give both children the choice. Stock up on girls softball uniforms<\/a> as well. If the other child still doesn\u2019t want to join, then so be it. But, giving them the choice ensures they don\u2019t take their frustration out on their sibling.<\/p>\n

Taking sides<\/b><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re dealing with quarrelling siblings<\/a>, it\u2019s easy to fall into the trap of taking sides. This is especially true if you don\u2019t see what causes the argument. You ask what happened, and then believe the most likely story, right? Wrong. In truth, taking sides when you don\u2019t know what happened is the worst thing you can do. Get this wrong, and the divide between your siblings will grow tenfold. Instead, punish both children equally. This may cause mild resentment from the injured party, but that\u2019s nothing compared to the damage you could do from believing the wrong child.<\/p>\n

This post is a collaborative effort by St. Louis Dad.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sibling rivalry. Two words every parent with more than one child hates with passion. Nothing\u2019s worse than your kids not getting along. Didn\u2019t you spend months trying to clear the way for this new addition? Didn\u2019t you sit with your youngster and have them touch the baby bump? Didn\u2019t you assure them nothing would change? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4083,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Are You Aiding And Abetting Sibling Rivalry? #dadbloggers","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,276,10],"tags":[12,147,11,678],"class_list":["post-4082","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-family","category-real-talk","tag-blog-2","tag-family","tag-realtalk","tag-sibling-rivarly"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/AlexMikey.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5JMKA-13Q","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4082","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4082"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4082\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4090,"href":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4082\/revisions\/4090"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4083"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4082"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4082"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stlouisdad.com\/s\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4082"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}